momchoiceHow does a mother come to the decision of placing her baby for adoption?

Coming to this decision was a difficult choice, but all I knew was that I couldn’t and wouldn’t have an abortion.  I knew this because I had one. It shook up my world up and my life hasn’t been the same since.

Years after my abortion, I became pregnant again and, with an honest self-evaluation I was sure I wasn’t going to be able to do an adequate job of parenting on my own. I knew the birth-father wouldn’t be of any help and I was afraid that I would have been a screamer and a hitter, a consequence of my previous decision. Having an abortion affected my self-worth and natural mothering instincts, so this time I chose a different route. I made a plan to place my baby for adoption.  In making my decision I knew that part of the reason for not keeping my baby was a direct result of what I had previously been through, it took a lot out of me. I wanted something better for my baby and for myself.

There is never just one reason in making the decision to place your baby for adoption; it is an option to really think through that takes time and trust. However, if you can identify the major hurdles of parenting, and correct them, it is likely you’ll be able to keep and care for your baby. I was told that I would have to live with my choice – and gratefully, I have been able to live with the decision that I made to place my baby for adoption.  In contrast, it has been very difficult to live with the decision that I made to have an abortion; the difference between that and having placed my baby for adoption is like night and day.  Their effects on my life were polar opposites.

With my abortion, I have only regrets and nothing good came out of it.  Placing my baby for adoption was not without grief and sadness, but because of that choice there is life, and life can go on.